NFL To Drastically Overhaul Overtime Rules

In a shocking announcement, Roger Goodell revealed at a press conference early this morning that the current NFL overtime rules would be mostly scrapped, and replaced with a new “ultra-fast” and “exciting” style of play.

Defences will be completely eliminated, instead pitching offence vs offence in a quick-fire, 5-minute multiball sudden death. Quarterbacks and receivers will line up on their bench’s side of the halfway line, and the receivers will take off to the end zone one at a time. Cannons will fire footballs along the halfway line which the quarterbacks must handle cleanly, and then pass to the downfield receiver, repeating for as many touchdowns as they can within a 5 minute period. A receiver must make a catch in the end zone, and return to the 50 to become eligible again. Only one receiver will be able to head downfield at a time, and teams will be able to line up 3 receivers. Whichever side puts up the most touchdowns in the time allotted will be the winner.

When asked about the changes by a stunned press, Goodell replied; “We’ve been doing our absolute utmost to suck all fun from the game for years now, and decided it was time to give back to the fans. People are sick of seeing the same watered-down product trotted out for 10, 15, 20 minutes, so we wanted to shake it up.”

We don’t yet know what players and coaches make of the new rules yet, but we bet there’ll be plenty of opinions on Twitter soon.